I got married at age 22 to a man who is 9 yrs older than me. He had been married once before and had 2 children from that marriage. Because his 1st wife was a total whore and cheated on him he’s never really trusted me bc of that which is so unfair bc i’m a totally dedicated partner I would never dream in a million yrs to cheat on my husband and i’ve told him this many times but it does no good, hes gotten a little better over the yrs but still has him moments. He’s also very jealous if I make a friend and spend to much time with them usually he ends up giving me an ultimatum of its her or me and naturally I sever ties to save my marriage which is stupid I know. I am now 35, his children are grown (ages 25&23) and we never had any kids together (thank God) I am now seriously considering a divorce. My husband is a heavy drinker mainly on weekends and smokes pot. I’ve never been much of a drinker and never really smoked pot until I met him and still didnt for years after we got together but I became a heavy smoker eventually, i’ve been quit now for about 5 yrs. I’ve changed so much in the last 5 yrs and feel like we have nothing in common. He has no ambition, no goals, he doesn’t do anything around the house without having to be asked to do it 10 times and all he’ll make plans for is who, where, how he’s going to get wasted the coming weekend. He’s always been very good about working and paying his share of the bills and he’s never been physically mean to me but we’ve have some serious verbal fights and every time he gets mad he threatens divorce, when I was younger it scared me and i’d usually give in and apologize to him when i had done nothing wrong but now i’m not like that I tell him fine lets do it! As a result he threatens it much less now but still. Lately I feel like all we’re still together for is to share living expenses. He’s usually very sweet to me when he’s not drunk or in a bad mood bc of work which is another thing, hes a mechanic and in the 15 yrs we’ve been together he’s had at least 10 diff jobs (i’ve been at my job 11yrs) and all he does is whine & moan about it then he’ll find another job quit and start all over again. Hes never happy once I suggested he try another line of work and he treatened me with a divorce. I’m not interested in having a relationship with anyone else and feel like if I do go thru with getting a divorce that i’ll remain alone for the rest of my life which at this point is just fine by me. I do love & care about my husband very much and cant bare the thought of hurting him but I cant bare the thought of being this unhappy the rest of my life either. Since his son who is now 25 moved here from PA 1 1/2 ago my husband has become his “frat boy” buddy they get drunk together get high together and all he cares about is spending time with him doing these things. He doesn’t seem to care one bit about setting a good example for him which makes me even more glad we never had kids together but I dont know what to do. I dont begrudge him wanting to spend time with is son its just that once he gets good and trashed son leaves and i’m left to deal with drunk dad and I really resent it. We rarely ever have sex anymore either and the only time he does try to initiate it is when he’s wasted and this is so insulting to me. We’ve never been the type of couple who has sex 4,5,6 times a week, in the beginning it was like 2-3 times a week and now were at 2-3 a month and it’s usully over in 30 secs and all i’ve gotten out of it is a mess to clean up. What do you think I should do? I’m so torn I dont know how i’ll make it financially on my own or where i’ll go but i’ve gotta do something bc hes not gonna change he’s told me so….HELP!