.. your stall warning plays “Dixie.”
… your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.
… you think sectionals charts should show trailer parks.
… you’ve ever used moonshine as avgas.
… you have mud flaps on your wheel pants.
… you think GPS stands for going perfectly straight.
… your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
… you constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
… just before impact, you are heard saying, “Hey y’all, watch this!”
… you have a black airplane with a big #3 on the side.
… you’ve ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
… you use a Purina feed bag for a windsock.
… you fuel your wizzbang 140 from a Mason jar.
… you wouldn’t be caught dead flyin’ a Grumman “Yankee.”
… you refer to flying in formation as “We got ourselves a convoy!”
… there is a sign on the side of your aircraft advertising your septic tank service.
… when you are the owner of Red Neck Airlines and pilot of Redneck One.
… you subscribe to The Southern Aviator because of the soft paper!
… you have ever incorporated sheetrock into the repair of your aircraft.
… you have ever responded to ATC with the phrase “That’s a big 10-4!”
… you typically answer female controllers with titles like “sugar” or “little darlin’.”
… she responds with the words “Honey” or “Big guy” then she may be a redneck.
… you have ever used a relief tube as a spitoon.
… you glance down at your belt buckle to help you remember your N-number.
… you have ever tried to impress your girlfriend by buzzing her doublewide.
… the preprinted portion of your weight and balance sheet contains “Case of Bud.”
… your go/no-go checklist includes the words “Skoal” or “Redman.”
Additional Details
5 days ago
Ya might be a Redneck if…..
…You think the nutcracker is somethin you did off the high dive.
…You wont stop at a rest area if you have a empty beer can in the car.
…You think Iraq is top-of-the-line Camaro.
…Your spring wardrabe mostly involves scissors.
…you know atleast 6 ways to bend a baseball cap.
…you own a lava lamp thats over 5 feet tall.
…there are more than 10 cats livin under your trailer.
…you’ve ever thrown up in a squad car.
…your frist bra was a Wonderbra.
…you’ve ever had to appear in court due to your dogs.
…You think Thunderbird is an acceptable wine choice with a bean burrito.
…your grandma enters wet t-shrit contests.
…your local grocery store also has a few pool tables.
…your septic tank is the subject of a petition.
…you have ever tried to use food stamps to mail a watermelon.
…you had to hitchhike on your honeymoon.
…your car and its motor are more than ten feet apart.
5 days ago
…your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
…you sent out birth announcements for your new puppies.
…you’ve changed a diaper on a Denny’s table.
…you’ve ever named a child for a good dog.
…your T.V. is on 24-7.
…your last keg party included a couple of 911 calls.
…you have to mow around a refridgeator and a bed frame.
…you’ve ever taken a date flowers you stole from a cemetery.
…Everyone in the house learns somthing from the potty training videotape.
…Diners change tables when your family sits near them.
…your prom dress was knitted.
…you were born with a plastic spoon in your mouth.
…your bridal veil was made of window screen.
…you think people who have elictricty are uppity.
…your college graduation ceremony includes parallel parking an 18-wheeler.
5 days ago
…the Marlboro man is your idol.
…all your golf balls come in egg cartons